


Welcome to a Dessert Otherworld

by StrexRep



Series: Welcome to Dessert Bluffs [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: A Spy in the Desert Spoilers, Candy gore (maybe), Cecil worries, Crack, Kevin is candy, M/M, Post Radio Jupiter, There is a candy Carlos and normal Carlos, no the title is not a misspelling, will add if needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26875321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrexRep/pseuds/StrexRep
Summary: Carlos, certain he's perfected hid portal machine, is excited to explore other dimensions but just ends up in the same one he fought so hard to keep out of Night Vale.This time Carlos' biggest fears come together, in a desert filled with sugar and nothingness.
Relationships: Candy!Carlos/Candy!Kevin, Carlos/Cecil Palmer
Series: Welcome to Dessert Bluffs [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1958170
Kudos: 3





	1. Welcome to A Dessert Otherworld

**Author's Note:**

> So, Part 2 of Welcome to Dessert Bluffs! Yay! 
> 
> Timeline info, just in case. 
> 
> Human!Carlos = Post Radio Jupiter  
> Candy!Kevin & Carlos = Taking Off-ish time
> 
> Also, you guys, if you like Carlos/Kevin, Carlos/Cecil, meeting each other, please check out Every Version of You [Here](https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/12208878). It's my favourite fic on here. Please go support A_Slight_Sweet_Fiction. <3

"It's fine, Ceec. This time we've test it, the portal stays open and I'll just be taking notes on what kind of events these other universes are experiencing." Carlos explained, kissing his cheek. He wasn't as excited this time, more anxious about what or who he would see when he stepped through the portal. Mark had gone through earlier and seen a version of Night Vale that was full of insects and had run out almost immediately. Louisa hadn't wanted to leave after finding a Desert Bluffs that was made of potatoes (although chose to come back when they started decorating everyone with 'ketchup'). Nilanjana had refused to go through the portal after if started oozing something thick and black. They still hadn't got it off the floor. 

"Carlos, I trust you and I love you doing science things but remember last time? What if you end up in that candy dimension again? You didn't leave them with the best impression last time." 

"Cecil, please. The chances of that are so small that I couldn't tell you how small it is! I'm sure I'll just go into a dimension that's full of kittens and then I'll never want to come home because the kittens will be too cute." Carlos teased, getting a frown from Cecil, "I'll be fine. I'll be back really soon."

"Just be safe, panda." Cecil sighed, watching Carlos kiss Esteban's head before giving him another. 

Carlos looked back before he stepped through the portal, waving to the two of them and smiling as they waved back. 

-

Emptiness and extremely white sand. He definitely wasn't in Night Vale but he also wasn't in Desert Bluffs. It was still hot and dry but the air smelt sickly sweet in a way that Carlos unfortunately recognised. He also recognised the burning heat coming from the ground. 

Immediately, he rushed forwards, just avoiding the giant gummy centipede that erupted from the ground, swallowing the portal. He shoved his hand in his pocket, fumbling with his phone, hands shaking and missing the call button several times.

"Cecil! Are you okay?" 

"Well, the machine exploded and we're covered in gummy worms and my husband is stuck in another dimension for the _third_ time." 

Carlos took deep breathes, his heart racing as he watched the sweet monstrosity flail about for a few moments before returning into the ground. He could hear Esteban crying and Cecil trying to calm him but otherwise felt completely separate from everything around him. Lost. Alone. Trapped. He knew where he was now and it made things even worse. If it wasn't hard enough the first time, this time his two worst fears had come together. 

"Wow, It came up way higher this time!" A familiar voice called from behind him, filled with joy, "Hi! Did you just come through one of the Old Chocolate Doors?"

"Cecil, tell my team to get me out of here. I'll call you soon. Tell Esteban I love him." Carlos quickly said into the phone before hanging up and turning to the source of the voice. 

It wasn't just Kevin that he saw when he turned, looking up at an equally shocked version of himself. His skin looked soft like Kevin's, probably also fondant, and he had a box in his hand that was beeping and whirring with activity.

"There's no sign of a door being here, Kevin." The other Carlos said, not taking his gummy eyes off of Carlos, "Who are you?"

"This is my friend, Carlos! Not _you_ Carlos. Remember when Cecil had that portal in his station and went through it and turned into a snake? _That_ Carlos."

"I don't really want to talk about Cecil, Kevin." The candy Carlos said, offering a hand to Carlos, "Are you... made of flesh? Scientifically interesting but a little gross." 

"Yeah, well, I think you're gross for being made out of candy."

The two glared at each other as Carlos got to his feet, Kevin smiling wide between the two of them. "We need some thing to call you that will make this easier. How about _my_ Carlos is Carlos and you're Carlos Too."

"That doesn't help us. Something on the start, like I could be 'human Carlos' and he can be 'candy Carlos."

"You're saying we're not human?" Carlos huffed, squeezing Carlos' hand but soon realising that his icing gave way before Carlos even really noticed the pressure, "Flesh Carlos." 

"No, that sounds weird."

"Wait, he's dating Cecil! He could be Cecil's Carlos and you can be Kevin's Carlos." Kevin piped up, putting his hand on the other two's to separate them.

"You're not dating him, Kevin. My Kevin did the same thing when we were stuck here, sorry." 

"No... We _are_ dating. Don't try to apologise for my boyfriend!"

"You're... what? Fine, then how about I'm Night Vale Carlos and you're Dessert Bluffs Carlos!" 

"Fine!" 

"Oooh~! You got the name right this time!" Kevin sang, bouncing happily on his toes.


	2. We're Not The Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dessert Bluffs Carlos explains a bit of history to Night Vale Carlos

NV Carlos swirled his mug, watching whatever the liquid he'd been given run around the side and leave a layer of sticky sweetness. He wasn't sure if he wanted to try it at all. He wasn't sure if this desert had the same properties as his own Desert Otherworld and if it did whether he needed to drink at all. DB Carlos had talked him through their history. Meeting Cecil, the same way as he had. Getting together with Cecil, sat on his car under the lights above the Arby's. Strex's invasion and Kevin coming to Night Vale. That part was different. DB Carlos had seemed a lot more relaxed talking about it than NV Carlos would have. He reminisced as if it was happy memory and kept saying about how he was seeing people like himself for the first time in a while. 

"What do you mean 'a while'?" NV Carlos asked, deciding finally to take a small drink and then immediately regretting it as he tasted the liquid glucose. 

"Well, when the great catastrophe happened, everyone was turned into candy except Night Vale. The laws of physics and science completely changed! Well, everywhere except in Night Vale. Night Vale became bread, for some reason. Sure, the people were that soft version of ginger bread but it's still bread. Everything still worked the same as before, unlike the rest of the world. Night Vale was the most scientifically _boring_ place in the world! Then I got sent there to see why and, well, all the things with Cecil happened despite it being a really boring place to live."

"What about the people under lane 5? That doesn't sound boring?"

"The what?"

"Wait... why were you and Cecil sat under the lights above the Arby's?" 

"He took me to Arby's. Also, why do you keep calling them that? Just say the Arby's sign. I said _'looking up at the lights'_ but I just meant the sign."

Carlos' jaw dropped and the other tilted their head in confusion before just continuing with their story. He'd hidden here to help Night Vale, just like in Carlos' dimension. He'd manage to close the door but was stuck here. All of it made sense, except Night Vale being the most boring place on the planet where nothing interesting happened and yet being sent there because of this fact. Honestly, Carlos thought that if there was a massive disaster that changed the entire world but one place in particular was effected much less than the rest of the world that would make it more scientifically interesting, not less. 

"Anyway, I called Cecil and told him it made sense. The universe doesn't have feelings or know feelings and in terms of the universe I _don't_ belong in Night Vale."

"But you do! I went back! You belong in Night Vale because your home is there. _Cecil_ is there."

"Kevin is my home. Not Cecil. Cecil agreed, I don't belong in Night Vale. Listen." DB Carlos pulled out his phone, which seemed to be a large cracker with jellies attached to the front but still worked as it was intended. He was looking through it, the jellies changing colours the same way that pixels would on a normal phone. Carlos had to keep himself quiet but it was hard. He desperately wanted to know how and why it could work. It was so scientifically interesting to see this piece of equipment which, by all logic means, shouldn't work doing the same job as one he was familiar with. His interest was drained rather quickly once the voicemail started, however. A familiar voice, and not sounding like a snake like it had last time Carlos had spoken to this iteration of Cecil, saying words Carlos had dreaded. Words he never wanted to hear. 

_"Hey... so, you're stuck the other side of those doors? Well, thank you. Thank you for saving Night Vale. I don't think we could have done any of this without you or whatever you did to shut those doors._

_"I... This is difficult. I don't want you to feel hurt or upset by me or anything I could say to you... yet I know that this will upset you. I know that I will upset you. You said that you don't belong here, Carlos. You said that the universe has decided that you don't belong in Night Vale and... the universe is right. Those candy people came and they hurt us and they kept us in cages and in fences that burnt our hands and bodies if we touched them. Candy people have only ever come to Night Vale to harm us and we have only ever gone to other places to hurt the people there. Carlos... I love you but I can't love you. You don't belong here. You never have."_

"What? No... that's... that's not Cecil. Cecil would never-..."

"Never group a set of people together based on where they're from or what they're made of? From what Kevin told me, your Cecil also wasn't very accepting when our universes came together." 

"That... that was different. There were snake people in the streets eating people. Your Cecil tied up my Cecil and took over his radio show! Plus, that doesn't explain why you would fall for Kevin. It's _Kevin._ He admitted to me that he eats candy last time I was here." 

"He's a lot more chilled out now. He helped me get food and water here. He accepted me and encouraged me to continue my research even though I was ready to give up. Maybe your Kevin was more like my Cecil." 

"We are not the same." NV Carlos warned, his grip on his mug tightening and eyes darting away, "My Kevin was fine. We were friends... but I'm not even going to entertain the notion that I would have... we were here for ten years and I didn't once even consider _dating_ him, as much as he would have liked that." 

"That's fine but we've been here for ten years. We've been together for five of those and that's longer than I was with Cecil. I'll help you get home, fine, but I'm not pretending not to love Kevin until we get to that point."

NV Carlos opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the door swinging open, both men jumping at the force it hit the counter behind it. Through it dived a pale woman, who looked between both of them before setting her eyes on Carlos' mug. She snatched it out of his hands, gulping the content as the two watched.

"Lauren?" NV Carlos questioned, getting a puzzled look from DB Carlos, "You have your hand back, I see."

"You two know each other?"

"You don't?" NV Carlos stared at DB Carlos, examining his face and seeing nothing but confusion and disbelieve at the sight of the woman, "Lauren Mallard? She led Strex into Night Vale with Kevin?"

" _Maynards."_ She quickly corrected, but was immediately spoken over.

"No, Kevin came with the president, some old guy, and one of those robots that have all the blood. I've never seen this woman in my life." 

"Strex took over Night Vale? Oh! That's wonderful news! Do you know how to get back there?" Lauren asked, wiping the glucose from her lips, "I've been stuck here since I jumped into that delightful pit back in your world. I've had no food... or drink... or company." 

"I think you should sit down."


	3. A little help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos takes Carlos to Night Vale and they are not happy to see them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is going to have more chapters than part 1 but probably a bit shorter chapters. Sorry for no schedule.

"Spit in this." DB Carlos commanded, holding out a pot for Carlos to spit into. This turned out to be a terrible decision as Carlos' saliva went straight through the pot, dropping onto the ground where it started to dissolve the sugar, "Fascinating. I wonder why it does that."

"Enzymes. Specifically amylase for starches and sucrase for sucrose. As you're mainly made of sucrose, with a little starch, it breaks down your equipment and skin." 

"It's quite painful." Lauren chimed in. She was sat with a bowl of pasta, which NV Carlos had been surprised wasn't something different, and gummy bears. They were squirming about and trying to get away from Lauren's fork but only NV Carlos seemed to find this at all strange, "He spat in my face when we met. I had a patch missing for a while after that." 

"That's interesting. We never had that here, not even before we turned to candy. Fortunately, I suppose. It's not going to help us get you home, though. Not if we can't collect it which we obviously can't." 

"It wouldn't do any good, anyway. There are a lot of universes with hum-... I mean... flesh people. I would reckon there are plenty with candy people too. Maybe even one where you and Cecil stayed together. You went back through the dog park and stayed in Night Vale."

DB Carlos gave an uncomfortable hum at the mention of Cecil, but perked up when the dog park was mentioned, "What do you mean? No one is allowed in the dog park, why would I go there? I don't know what the hooded figures would do if I even tried."

"The dog park is a portal between here and Night Vale. I'm hoping that it's in the same place here as it was there. If I can get to your team of scientists in Night Vale, they can help me get back to my own universe."

"Well, you'll want someone to go with you. If it's not where you think it is, you'll just be lost in the desert. We all know where things are around here, so it'll be easier for us to find the way back."

"That's fine... but it can't be Kevin, Night Vale will literally kill him and I'm not taking her." Carlos agreed, gesturing over at Lauren who simply smiled in return, "Plus, wouldn't it be nice to see Night Vale again? Knowing you have the option to go home?"

"It's not my home." DB Carlos restated, putting away his equipment and checking his phone. Carlos could see he was uncomfortable, so didn't press the issue further, "I'll take you there and help you find a way back but we need to be quick. I don't want to leave Kevin alone for too long. A day there is ten here and although that wouldn't be a problem, it builds up." 

“Well, your team should have no problem with getting the machine up and running. I know how it’s made and if they’re anything like mine, they’ll have it done in no time at all.” 

“I’ll go and let Kevin know. Pack anything you think we’ll need.” 

\----

The Carloses walked for several days before finally arriving in Night Vale. It was long and hot and both of them just wanted to sit down with a drink that would actually hydrate them. What they hadn’t wanted was to be surrounded by the people of Night Vale, including the Sheriff's Secret police. What they really hadn’t wanted was the Sheriff’s Secret police pointing croissants at them (which NV Carlos had assumed worked like guns, due to the holes in the end). 

DB Carlos was behind him, hands on his shoulders to protect him from the officers. 

“Carlos, you know you’re not allowed back here and neither is your interloper friend!” One of the officers announced, using a bullhorn made of pastry even though they were close enough for them to hear without it, “Get ou-...”

“Listeners!” Cecil boomed over the officers, running up to the two. He leant one way and Carlos leant the other. Then Cecil leant the other and Carlos leant the first, “Listeners, Carlos has come back and brought the flesh Carlos with him. They both look as perfect as ever, despite being unwelcome interlopers who broke my heart!” 

“Broke your heart?” NV Carlos scoffed, rolling his eyes, “I heard the voicemail you left, you judged him based on the fact he’s made of candy. You-...”

“Not him. He’s trouble…  _ You.  _ You couldn’t accept me because I was a giant snake who took your boyfriend hostage. We could have made it work.”

“Okay… first,  _ husband _ . Second, how is that any different to what you did to him? The only difference is that he didn’t take your  _ husband  _ hostage.”

“Well, no, I’m not married, so…”

“Look…” Carlos sighed, looking into the gingerbread man’s gumdrop eyes, “... you’re a cookie. You’re more candy than anyone else I see here. So, please… I need help getting home and if you’re anything like…  _ flesh Cecil _ … you’ll help us. I know you will.”

Cecil narrowed his eyes at him and then looked at the Carlos who was cowering behind his back. NV Carlos smiled nervously, desperately hoping that Cecil would help them. He wasn’t sure how much Cecil could do but he would at least be more likely to convince the police to let them go. If Cecil didn’t help, Carlos wasn’t sure what would happen to them or how they would get out of here. 

“Fine… Listeners, I am helping the Carloses. The faster that flesh Carlos is back in his world, the faster this candy abomination can go back to where he belongs.”

Carlos followed Cecil, keeping the candy Carlos behind him. “Your Cecil is way harsher than mine.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 


End file.
